The 1st of July 2014 will be forever etched in my memory. On that date I woke up and peered across the bed to the window. Realising by the half light it was just past dawn I wondered why there was another body in the bed. It should have been at the gym. So I turned over and put my arm around her. I registered she was looking straight at me. She then uttered the words no man wants to hear who hasn’t planned for it. ‘Happy anniversary darling’. In the micro seconds it took my male brain to weigh up a response, her female intuition had already worked out my dilemma and laid the charge. ‘You’ve forgotten haven’t you?’ Guilty. I had forgotten. The rest of the day was spent demonstrating that 1. I loved her and 2. regretted forgetting our special (and easily remembered) date. It would have been so much easier to focus on one rather than both. A stitch in time and all that.
Later in the week I received what looked like a court summons with an official looking government stamp on the envelop. The letter inside read:
Dear (first name, last name),
Did you know that around 80 Australians die each week from bowel cancer? ..blah, blah , blah,…inviting people turning 50….blah, blah,.. faecal occult blood test kit with instructions…sent to you in the next few weeks…blah blah. If you are already being treated for bowel cancer contact….during business hours.
Chief Medical Officer.
Not ‘Happy birthday this is a big one mate!’ Not ‘We want you to stay healthy and happy’. No connection with me. Just a cold request to take a government funded test now that I have reached an age when my bowels are more likely to turn on me. Were they concerned about me or the statistics? This lack of connection may be part of the reason most people fail to participate in what is a life saving program.
Still later in the week my reception staff told me that a patient had left something for me in the staff room. Also being an Indian he anticipated my penchant for curries and had prepared a small feast as a thank you. Instant connection. I felt appreciated. I pulled out my pen and drafted him a note. The government invitation on the other hand, though it may save my life didn’t have the same impact. Sure I’ll take the test but only because I know it’s a good idea.
People who chose to share intimacies with us want to know that we really see them and that they matter. Medical practitioners and general practitioners in particular document all sorts of information about their patients; height, weight, gender, waist circumference, family history, alcohol and tobacco consumption, sexual orientation, menstrual history, temperature, blood pressure, pulse, heart sounds, medications, allergies, etc. How about their date of birth? Anniversaries of births, deaths and marriage? Why don’t we collect and use this information to make a connection? What I would have appreciated from my doctor in April this year was a hand written card that said something like:
Happy Birthday Moyez! Thank you for letting us be part of your life. We wish you health and happiness always. Don’t forget your wedding anniversary 01/07/2014! This year you can help keep yourself in good shape by taking the bowel cancer test, someone will write to you about that soon. To mark the very special occasion of your 50th birthday we have donated $20 to Medecins sans frontieres Australia (http://www.msf.org.au/). Please stay in touch and call us if we can do anything to help you stay in good shape this year.
If a practice manager at an average Australian general practice searches their database for every 49 year old who visits the practice, I guess the list would contain a 100 souls at most. A 50th birthday card would cost the practice less than $25 including the donation. The goodwill that would generate would be priceless and make all of our lives better. As experts have noted:
GPs who initiate discussions about screening with underserved population segments in particular (e.g., those aged between 50 and 55, men, and people from a non-English speaking background) are in a unique position to decrease inequity in health outcomes and improve morbidity and mortality from bowel cancer. Carlene Wilson